After watching the movie doc "the secret" i wanted to apply this concept to my life.
I felt so moved by the movie. I jotted down notes, i made my "gratitude" list, my "wants" list. I did thought exercises. ETC ETC.
And now...i dont know what to feel. Its very hard for a person like me to stay positive, to manifest my own life. Ive been told Ive ive been able to do these things in the past...so where is my patience now. The film talks about if you think the negative, it will only come to you like a magnet. Well, Ive thought about everything I would LOVE my life to be, and where is it? I know these things dont happen over night, Im not stupid. Im just not...patient. And when one little thing goes "bad" or "different" I do tend to focus on it.
Someone I care about tells me they are "unsure" of things with me. Immediately followed by "Im unsure about me, and how I act towards things, not you". But what do I hear? I hear this "I dont like you anymore". I havent always been this way. I havent always lacked in the thought process. Its been the constant lying in my life, from my parents, friends, old boyfriends, etc. And its hard to over come. If I want things to progress in the right way, they need to be like this for now.
Its hard for me to just sit back and "wait" for things to happen. I get nervous and I start thinking in the negative.
Theres that damn word again. "Negativity".
If I dont stomp it out, its going to ruin me.
I apply this to other situations as well. And I really a person's friend, or just a filler until they can be around their "real" friends?
Im feeling very emotionally naked and sensitive today, and I dont like it very much.
I rather go to Chilis and stuff my face and eat cookies all day, then go to work and be dealing with this crap.
But this is life I guess.
Im going to attempt to eliminate the following words from my life starting today:
"Cant" or "Wont" happen
On second though, maybe I will start tomorrow...
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